The last few days I've realised that over the years I've been so careful not to make the same mistakes some of my friends have made, that I've forgotten that one person's mistake is another one's dream... I've built myself shields of strength so strong that I've made my heart invisible to anyone except those who see me with those shields down. All my relationships have been ignited by natural disasters, emotional bereavement, loss, pain or simple devastation. Why do I have my shields up all the time? What makes me choose friendship over love? In the TV series Ally McBeal, Ally loses Billy, the love of her life several times, only to triumph with an army of friends. But she is lonely all the time. Thats just plain silly. Yet, I currently have an army of male friends poised to protect me from any man who tries to hurt me, and nobody to hurt me but them! How did I reach this place with so many gorgeous male friends who see me as nothing but a wingwoman or female bro? (ref: HIMYM)
Why do I become this butch, beer drinking, biker girl, metalhead around them and make them my friends when these are the good guys who I should be a regular yet unwhiny girl with? The guys who I should date...not befriend. Why do I push all the guys I meet into the friend zone and then wail about it?
The reason I say this is because today for the first time in my life I won a "romantic trip for two" kind of opportunity, and i have no "two" to take with me...I have a week to find the "two", but seriously??? Isn't this the time I run up to HIM and tell him I'd won US a trip for two with a big goofy delightful grin??
welcome to the club.. ive been over the we'r friends bit.. so comfortable with the men that im there pal rather than a prospective love interest or even lets hook up interest;p...dont know are we giving the wrong signals... yes i look for a friend in a companion.. but well a companion first;p... how can i solve this? do we change ourselves to get that change or do we wait for a change in their attitude...sigh i wish i knew
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing a slight change... something that hits them like a freakin iron anchor on the head...one fine day the head should go BOIINNNGGGG why the hell did I not think of her earlier! then we torture them and let them beg us... *evil laughter*
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