Confession- why love?

Muddlehead's been writing about love for a long long time now.. the weirdest is i have'nt actually experienced it being reciprocated... am i scared to even identify reciprocation ..and why does writing about love relaxes me... from being hopelessly in love to just not believing its existence.. how can someone write about it.. i mean isnt writing feelings an important form of expressing???
see for example i came up with this.........

.. the night's... a melody. the touch -- an Ecstasy.. the breeze-- the harmony.. your absense-- an irony..............

There was no breeze, no moonlight.. heck i didnt even have time to admire or even acknowledge night time. but when i wrote that i dont know.. how did i came up with that........

hmmmmm.. and thats not the only one... i mean yes there are times i write about my life, my experiences..nbut 90% is make-believe.. how can i write so passionately about love when i dont even believe in it...