Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Those dark brown eyes...staring yet welcoming ...that little nib..trying to show the fearlessness..
In a cardboard box you arrived..all confused, yet being at peace with your sister next to you...

Thats how my little baby arrived..
the black and white furball called Pluto..
'Why did you name him "Pluto" maa?', I asked
'Well he is your favourite dog... isnt he?'
'Our new arrival is gonna be tall and big like pluto...' said Maa
'Only not as goofy though'
'Just be careful, he is gonna be ferocious' added papa


O Poof what do they know about dogs .. i grunted
they're always loveable no matter what the breed.
He's my pluto.. 
He's gonna be exactly like him.. 
I just knew
Thats how began a protective, loving and wonderful journey with pluto..

The first night, you created drama of staying inside the house.. yelping your lungs out.. wanting to get out and be the guard dog..Heeheee not even 1/4 the size of one... I called already see so much of me in you especially the dramas and goofiness you indulged in.. 

I remember feeding you milk and bread.. putting small pieces in your mouth.. you would always be careful not to bite my fingers... always be gentle.

Two days passed and you went on an 'exploration trip' ... discovering your surroundings.. i always imagined you like Pluto- Mickey's pet.. with big sniffing nose and a constant serial wagger;p..It was early morning and Megha and I were struggling to get up for school... Till papa came in and broke the news... mister pluto tried to be too daring the other day.. and in his fits of sniffing.. he managed to cross the railing of our first floor.. it was only later when papa heard constant cries and discovered Pluto hanging from the railing and yelping away to glory.. for some odd reason the only thing that crossed my mind was some random Bollywood scene featuring Hema Malini crying for help 'Bachaao baccho...' ;p;p;p... 

So our little furball wisened up ... and Papa enjoyed designing and placing a strong grill to seal that portion of the railing. Pluto never set his foot on that portion even when he was 10 years old;p;p;p...An year passed by and boy did he grow up... a big grizzly bear... with ferocious shiny white teeth.. thick black coat with a slight white line on the chest.. he was handsome, warm and cuddly.. my perfect man:)

When crystal, our little mini daschund (who we lost last year) came, we were very worried about Pluto's reaction. When we unleashed him .. all he did was go sniff crystal and give her a big lick... he was always so protective and loving... But yet an excellent guard dog.. Alert, daring and the attacking kinds...There was one very silly habit he had .. Every month he used to wait for an opportunity when he was untied, and no one was noticing.. He would just run away out of the house only to come back all messed up and silly grin on his face which translated as ' heehee.. i did it';p.. mad he was... the next few hours went in scolding and bathing him.. 


and boy .. he hated it... Bathing Pluto always ended up with me taking a bath as well. Somehow he made sure i was completely drenched... the minute he knew it was bath time he would literally copy Pluto the cartoon dog, and try to break free from the leash, hold onto a plant... hahaaaaaa... i remember this time when he managed to break his iron chain and ran off and got all sticky grass on himself.. But there were times when he was an absolute darling. I remember one day out of the blue i started talking to him before a bath saying 'My baby;s gonna smell all nice and look grand and ill give you a nice trim and massage..' and that day onwards he was very patient for baths.. he would enjoy me talking throughout the bath.. scrubbing and then rinsing without touching his ears and face.. o he hated that... but post his royal drying with a special tweety towel.. he was all ready and demanding for a massage..;p... Thats my Pluto

When crystal had her babies.Pluto took on the role of babysitter.. He would love to play with her kids.. pawing them.. putting them back in her basket.. and growling at them to show whose the boss... awww he was a darling... i miss him so much....

 Time flew... and soon my sister Megha was stepping into the dreaded 10th standard.. uniforms changed .. with the yucky stitched dupatta suit on and equally horrible grumpy look, Megha got out to leave for school. Just when she was about to say bye to Pluto , he growled... it happened again.. and we realised that Pluto did not like Megha experimenting with her clothes.. more specially the minute she wore something different.. he would literally voice a genuine dislike for it;p.. haha our very own fashion police i tell you;p...


Years passed by.. I was away all the time ..you were my companion .. my protector and my baby.. and I was constantly away running the rat race.. you always understood .. always welcomed me.. always called me in a unique.. wolfy sound 'baaaaaooooooohhh'.. of all the chicken bones ive sneaked out.. and the bikis you loved... and your rug...your red and black grand throne ... baby you are and will always be a part of me... the best years of my life,....you gave me everything... 

this few days have been bad for you.. i know you've been in pain.. we've tried everything in our control for your recovery..... im sorry baby we had to take this decision.. but i want you to be always at peace , in the best of health and always my shiny grizzly bear.. im sorry for all the pain you suffered... i chanted for you to be at peace.. i know crystal was calling.. she came in my dream asking me to let go... i feel guilty agreeing to this... but i knw its for the best . I pray that i meet you and am as close to you in your next life:)... rest in peace my baby.. ill always have those beautiful memories,....the warmth, the protection and the unconditional love we shared:) ... now stop looking and smiling from up beyond .. im sure u get ample chicken, kurkure, marie biscuits and meat there:)... give a big to lick from my side... 

RIP Pluto (1998- 2012)



Tuesday, March 13, 2012

What happens when the lights don't go out:-1. Prospective No 1

four friends...the city... or maybe the cities.... the men.. and the 'phool theory'... There.. and you thought this was yet another im so satc obsessed piece;p..But this time its about the presence of and the absence of the flowery involvements... and the typical, yet to be outgoing, modern ; conservative Indian woman's take on searching for those pastures..

The country's crossing all records of fertility with the enormous leaps in the birth rate.. of course discussing sex isnt a taboo anymore .. atleast for some areas.. But I'm enjoying describing the 'phool theory' i.e.the could be beneath the sheets situation...

I'm sure most of us have grown up watching Asha Parekh's and the Sharmila's of the world doing their twists and turns around the trees, with the hero, commonly rajesh khanna or jitender or dharmendra galloping behind, and of course the sequence ending with them catching up with each other and the flowers (read roses) coming together.. sigh.. intimacy in Indian cinema couldnt be cornier.. if that was a word;p.

So lets name our ms. anonymous -'flowerhead', whose fed on a healthy staple diet of the perfect man, love lasts longer..and the 'phool theory' and of course the jargon 'meeting that special one' for getting it ..goes to search more like a unconscious hunt

...its a continuous journey to find The Man....

After two heartbreaks and one mutually created scenario.. our damsel flies to find greener pastures.. little did she know that the pasture would begin from the plane itself. Sitting and preparing for a long gap from a known territory, flowerhead's trying to relax yet slyly praying and fantasizing for a considerably handsome company to kill the long flight...

Her thoughts wander towards dissapointment on seeing the heavy obnoxious passenger stopping near her seat...yet hoping 'Sigh... would it hurt for you to send someone hot for a change...'..

Lo behold.. comes a smoking hot and i mean the kind you just look and fantasize right there and then types, enters.. That's our prospective 1..

'Aaaahhh ooooo he's hot... thank you god.. oh wait he's checking me out.. is he checking me out... oh dear im staring at him and he is checking me out.. look away look away...' alas ... but the satisfied smurk couldnt be hidden.. it seemed he did catch it.. and promptly returned..

'wait he might be sitting next to me.. why is he making that puppy face ..is he confused about his seat.. damn it say something say something.. no wait stop staring and smurking.. stop stop stop'... Before flowerhead's uninhibited thoughts and futuristic fantasies could stop... the daydreaming began... what cant a normal girl fantasize about doing it in the plane.. especially the one who hasnt done it ... But the thoughts were soon at rest.. since the chap went a seat ahead with a sad look on his face.. while flowerhead's neighbour squeezed into his ever shrinking seat...

'OK.. I maybe imagining things but he had a weird look on his face.. was he disappointed that he dint have a seat next to me... its weird... hmm but now i have something that'l keep the imagination fueling for a long long time'.... mr.seducer.. mmmm mmm mmm u make me feel good;p..'

After trying the specially ordered vegan meal.. our heroine wanders where did mr seducer vanish... But two wines later she creates her own theory....

'OOooh that smile... hmmm' .. silently grinning at what her friends said ' I did spot that one.. and im sure he was interested...the question is in what... ' oh dear here we go again... 'Naa it only happens in movies.. imagine we meet on the plane.. and then the city and we'll land up somewhere...' sighsss ..'heck let me stick to the 'he so seduced me to do it on the plane story'...' and another wine later.. she's back to her make belief and safer sequence... so that's how flowerhead meets our prospective no.1.... feasty yet creepy;p.. ...well atleast in her subconscious that is:)...

Sunday, December 11, 2011

eccentricity is not my middle name

“ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.”- Ambrose Bierce 


Its difficult to describe yourself... we fail to reconcile with our inner self... or maybe camouflage what we don't want to accept..... with records of failure, escapism, denial yet optimism, adaptability and pride.. i truly deserve to prove linda goodman right.. but this is not about sun signs, an art extensively explored  , lesser controlled... its as usual about being self consumed, self analysed and self arbitrary... whatever that meant...here i am. pondering over decisions made .. or not made.. well technically nothing was ever weighed except my weight... ok losing focus now.... all this time everything has been so impulsive so spontaneous so confusing.. i just havent given myself time to think.. its weird.. i hold on to things and people who i shouldnt and let go of things and people who i should.. and they everything happens for the good... heck then where is my silver lining or did the bloody cloud took a detour and decided on a different direction... ahhh yes thats why eccentricity is no longer my middle name.. it always was and will be the first one... i am eccentric in choices or lack of choices.. in holding relations or brutally burying them... in showing emotions or the lack of emotions...

i am an eccentric person.. a quality associated with geniuses.. heck im not;p...i love every bit of this malicious quality and its repercussions... i do not bother about the outcome but the journey this eccentricity takes me on... some have been interesting, adventurous, enjoyable while others being terrible terrible choices... but yes the struggle has always been .. one to adapt and the other to untie... but thats what eccentricity is all about... its hurt a lot of people... yet being enjoyed by many... for some its troublesome for others another satirical  plot... sorry no apologises.. ive stopped that long back.... yet this time eccentricity has a new battle to fight... and that is stability...

surprising isnt it... being eccentric yet stable.. being practical yet a day dreamer... being logical yet spontaneous.. eccentricity .. mind you it may be contagious ... its barbaric truly barbaric... in heavy doses the results are torturous.. heck it scares me... but i enjoy every bit of it.. these spur of the moment mood swings engulf the best of clarity.. yet manage to get me out of the worse situations.. is escapsim the answer.. or maybe ive completed the karmic involvement... eccentricity mind you .. if you are brave enough you ll accept it and make peace.. but when you do be prepared for its tentacles...

i enjoy being called vicious by some yet helpful by others.. selfish by some yet big hearted by others... sensitive by few yet ruthless by others...its a gamble i tell u.. a sheer gamble of situation ... in smaller doses eccentricity is a comical definition... as they say pity of some may be amusement of others.. after all aren't we all eccentric in some way or the other... but yes stability and eccentricity are enemies for centuries... for one to succeed the other needs to wear a distinguished acceptable mask...

can eccentricity and stability ever exist.. is a moment that can change this.. or a person that can fuel one over the other... heck aren't we known as dynamic... emotions change, feelings change.. situations change.. what would you choose a cautious mundane route or the eccentricity possible joyride... like i said eccentricity is not my middle name.. its floats in between... unnamed , recluse,  and unapologetic as ever...

if we cant tolerate eccentricity.. we can never enjoy realms of stability!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

An angel who loved chocolate

I wish there was a fancy way to begin this.. i wish i could make it interesting... but an honest adieu is what i can write.. for once im shattered .. for once i feel helpless.. for once i regret... It all began in 1999.. I, entering the next standard.. sigh those days when all that mattered was simply passing and a higher mark here and there for the ying yang balance.. heck that's what my school days felt like... Going through a tough 97 and equally a more controversial 98.. it was in April 1999 that i felt god was actually paying attention to me... A miracle happened.. my mum- the so not dog lover she is (don't get me wrong.. she is just not fond of them) announced that there might be a surprise.. On my desperate attempts to convince here what it was.. she finally gave in once my results were out.. I was soon to get a small little daschund .. and on that very day.. So quickly i was chauffeured to our family friend's place to pick up one (Mum, the darling she is.. had already done the groundwork).. so here i reach.. and not one not two.. but i had to choose from 5 puppies .. if i had my way i would have taken them all back home.. but such is life.. so i stood .. observing.. finally the only words that i could come up with were... 'which one is the naughtiest' and lo behold.. that was my first introduction to miss crystal.. just feeling her lost in my hand made me feel i knew she was the one.. my child,.. my lil brown bundle of joy.. so calm , so tiny .. so cuddly.. On our way back, she seemed scared and i just stroked her and tried to have a telepathic conversation saying ' Dont worry i will take care of you.. '..I wish i could live up to that assurance... always.....


First few days came with hand feeding crystal bread and milk.. including my enacting out how yummy the milk is ... I actually went on my fours.. with my face near her bowl and said ' mmmmm Yummy.. Crystal yummy' and surprisingly it worked.. heck crystal was hardly ever a dog.. she was more like a child who never really grew up...What followed were lovely memories including crystal's fixation with Maa's salwars.. god she really just had to tear them apart.. Just when they were all clean and ready to be ironed.. oh yes it was always the fresh laundry that excited kichhu..Maa complained and cursed her zillion time ...But crystal would just show her lil innocent face and all Maa's anger would just fade and transform into a smile.























There were times when kittu would hijack our slippers or shoes and sleep with a pair in her basket...Probably presuming that one foot missing might stop us from going out:(...sigh..  No foot.. mind you .. we all have big feet.. and she that little hardly 11/2 feet four legged angel could lift.. managed to do and keep one foot hidden in her blankets..these little things make a goodbye so difficult...of course how can i forget her 'dushmani' with the squirrels..every evening.. sharp at 5... she would run towards the ashokas in our lawns and bark her head off at the squirrels.. it was a matter of time that we realised that crystal actually played hide and seek with them.. and surprisingly the squirrels waited for to enter and begin their game;p... that was crystal

They say a dog has one master... i guess mum was crystal's soft corner.. she turned Maa into a dog lover instantly. Mum would let her sit on her lap... take care of her.. talk to her.. we were just amazed.. and oh yes when crystal dirtied around.. mum definitely had somebody she could actually call a bitch....heeheeeeeee

Crystal had a boyfriend too.. well he was actually mate for life - Chip.. I used to stay in a joint family and chip was one of my closest cousin's daschund.. I think crystal and chip had fallen in love at the very first sight.. atleast that what i feel.. it was one of funniest couples ive seen.. crystal being petite, warm, naughty and elegant female.. (the amount she used to fuss over eating food) and chip the fat, arrogant and smart male.. well technically crystal didnt have an option since pluto (my other dog) was already introduced as her brother... 

So Chip and Crystal had like 21 babies.. wait.. not altogether.. in litters of 3 or 4 sometimes.. my god kitty baba's babies were just so small.. very very tiny... haha i remember the first time crystal delivered ... i think i was having the last semester and had just gone to grab a cup of coffee.. when i returned .. i saw a tiny.. potty like thing on the floor.. and boy was i angry.. i thought she shat there.. uff... but then .. it started moving.. i looked at it, crystal looked at me (i could see that from the corner of my eye)... and then it hit... awwwwwww.. my baby had a baby.... bas that was it... i announced it to everyone who was on my memory speed dial..crystal had a baby... and then when mum came... crystal had started delivering more puppies.. boy was that an experience.. i quickly grabbed the only book on dogs.. did a crash course in an hour.. and made sure that i was there throughout the delivery...ensuring there was something to scratch for crystal, a basket ready for the new born and well that's all i can remember.. 
























Watching crystal as the ideal mother was an amazing experience.. this little brownie.. was able to manage , feed and train puppies on her own.. without any training or someone to help.. that's a learning for humans.. how much we crib about babies.. just looking at crystal i could feel motherhood being so difficult yet so naturally training...

Crystal's babies were everywhere.. i think my cousin's ring ceremony was going in our house and madam crystal was delivering triplets upstairs.. once we were back from the ceremony.. mum and dad were simply shocked... crystal had taken her 3 babies and had taken the diwan for herself.. ..The whole night mum and dad spend cleaning the diwan and next day had the airing in store;p... that was fun.. atleast for us..i think she used to compare herself with Maa at times... because whenever she would put babies on the sofa .. Mum used to put them back in the basket.. and crystal gave that look that now 'i have babies and they deserve comforts as your kids'- This was translated by yours truely 's mother.;p..

Once crystal lost one of her babies.. he died of malnourishment... and i cried and cried... post the burial., crystal used to constantly look around for him.. this continued for years.. it was sad to see her longing and her hope to finally find him.. that's what a mother does...

For Paa, crystal adorned the role of an assistance.. Now my dad the complicated man he is.. is extremely fond of fiddling around the house.. so every sunday crystal would follow him everywhere.. if you could see a long tail peeping out of garage .. it was obvious that crystal was exploring the car while papa was busy polishing or cleaning it... if the electric room was open crystal would be standing ether guarding till papa finished his work.. and she hated being disturbed at that time... it was her time with papa.. her sunday funday:)


We all loved especially I and Noodley (that's what i call my sister).. crystal knew all our secrets..she would celebrate with us, play 'ghar ghar' with us ;p.. and even comfort us when we were upset.. crystal knew what to do.. Like mum said ' crystal always knew when someone was upset..She would just sit and nudge her head against to show she was there'....

Even pluto.. she used to trouble pluto by constantly barking at him.. it looked like she was complaining .. frustrated with his laziness and troubling him .. irritating him so that he would move and play with her.. and she had guts.. pluto was always wary of her.. always.. i think she controlled him.. sounds strange considering crystal was hardly 1/12 feet and pluto is about 3 - 4 feet ... but yes... when cyrstal had babies.. pluto was very protective of the puppies.. he was very gentle.. being a indian shepherd breed, gudies are very ferocious.. but pluto he was like their babysitter;p.. it was fun watching him trying to play so carefully with the little monster...

Soon crystal had to undergo sterlisation considering her health was getting affected... at that time chip and crystal used to go for their evening walks and just sit beside each other during that time.due to paralysis .. chip passed away..very very sad...i think crystal knew that he was going even before it happened.

Years passed.. we shifted to a new house..crystal got older.. then a tragic accident happened... i think it was in 2006.. she was attacked by an Alsatian..and was very weak.. it did not look as if she would survive the night.. that night i prayed.. prayed that god gives her years from my life.. prayed that my only angel is around me .. prayed that she gets better.. i did not sleep the whole night.. i guess i already had experienced possibility of her loss that night. Morning came with a bright sunshine and post visit at docs and constant care she recovered though her breathing became heavy.. i remember that within days pluto broke his chain and ran and attacked that alsatian... 

With recovery came constant worry and protection...though i was away most of college, pg and work years.. mum took good care of crystal... she was quite active for her age.. naughtier than ever.. Chocolate were her weakness.. just a whiff and that was it.. you'll have the most pathetic, the most sad and the most desperate look thrown at you.. that used to make me feel that im such a horrible horrible person to do this... and i used to give in...I had become more protective of her as years passed.. worried and dreading this day... 

Crystal was my support, my pampered child and my little baby... she was fussed over.. i used to love shopping for her.. ive never been the decorate your pet in clothes sorts.. so pampering meant getting a new basket or a house.. she used to love that house and that basket'

i remember the first time the 'introdcutions' between the basket and crystal happened.. she was confused.. she  was acting as if i was putting her in a forbidden comfort zone.. then i actually had to tell her that this is yours.. that was it she just understood me.. the same happened with the house.. but once she got used to it ... it was difficult to get her out... even i tried peeping in.. and she simply ignored.. what attitude man;p

Sigh so many memories have come ... there was this daily routine .. she just wouldnt eat her food.. unless it was chicken.. i tried the yummy bit it worked but again she was back to fussing around.. then out of anger i started saying that im going to feed pluto and you arent getting any goodies... this worked.. she immediately started eating.. i dont know how she understood all this.. but she always did..

One incident that comes to my mind is when a friend pug was at home.. crystal started acting weird.. we had our family friends for dinner and it was winters.. so crystal thinking that she has been replaced.. went and sat at the farthest corner.. even after the dog left it took me 2 days to get her back to her bubbly self.. then i realised that this child just wanted that attention.. we meant the world to her.. we were her world.. when actually she was the world to us:).

when i was leaving for australia for higher studies.. crystal was the one who was running around the house,, licking me all around and giving the best farewell ever.. and similarly whenever i came back i used to feel like princess ... the welcome she gave.. the unconditional love i got... i guess i learnt a lot from her... she was an angel.. who stood there through my toughest times.. was a support for each member of my family... she was just an angel that god had sent for me.. she was , is and will always be my baby...She s taken care of me.. all important steps of my life.. whether it was boards , tiffs with maa or paa, or noodley or friends or even boyfriends.. crystal was there.. she would just sit next to me.. and i knew things would get better..

With eyes swollen, unstoppable tears and a regret for life that i just could not meet her ... i bid you farewell crystal... words cannot ever express the amount i love you... i really wanted to say goodbye.. hug you hold you and kiss you that one last time... but as a close friend says.. i could never say goodbye to my kicchy... never..... i really hope god is taking care of you there.. and you are happy... i love you crystal ... my kiggly... my baby... my angel... Actually im going to have a big piece of chocolate and say 'till we meet again... Im sure we will crystal.. im sure we will':)